I was supposed to be a physician. It was practically pre-destined. Many of my father’s friends were physicians. His best pal, a fellow Holocaust survivor, Erich Reich had two sons whom I grew up with from infancy. We knew from about the age of 2 that med school was the only worthy goal in life. A career in law, equally prestigious in a free Western country, would have been a cruel joke in Communist Czechoslovakia, where trial lawyers were but carriers of the official Party stamp. But physicians retained their prestige. There is a long tradition of excellent doctoring in the Czech lands going back to famous psychiatrist Arnold Pick (1851 - 1924) and the even more famous and important Jan Evangelista Purkyne (1787 - 1869) whose experimental physiological investigations helped to create a modern understanding of the eye and vision, brain and heart function, mammalian reproduction and the composition of cells. Even the Commies couldn’t destroy such a solid edifice of science and learning.
As it happened, the 1968 Soviet invasion about which I have already written at length on this Substack, thwarted everybody’s plans. And yet, Mr. Reich’s two sons, my best friends Oleg and Ivan both did manage to finish medical school and carve out enormously successful careers: Oleg is a pediatric cardiology surgeon (translation: he saves newborns from certain death), Ivan is a gynecologist/entrepreneur and owner of one of the first IVF clinics in Czechoslovakia. He now also operates a clinic in Hanoi, Vietnam…I have no idea what inscrutable wind blew him in that direction.
After we immigrated to Israel and after I finished high-school, I attempted to enroll in the Hebrew University Medical School in Jerusalem. Sadly, my high-school grades were severely depleted by my social life and various music activities which left no time for math, physics, chemistry and other yawn-inducing subjects. And so, though I did well on my entrance exams, my one and only attempt at medical studies failed. Straight A’s were needed to be considered.
I went on to study English Lit and Linguistics to please my parents. Not getting a university degree (in any subject, if medicine was out) was UNTHINKABLE. I managed to complete my B.A. (only just) and later a Master’s in Linguistics but my heart had been in music since the age of 9 when a neighbor taught me my first guitar chord: it was an E major for those interested. I played semi-professionally already in high-school. While other kids needed pocket money from their parents, I made enough playing various high school gigs to keep me in sandwiches, gum and cigarettes. Yep. I started smoking at 13 and quit at 31. I was supposed to study history, math and grammar, but I always wanted to learn more chords, more about harmony, more songs by the bands of the day and later more about jazz.
My dad passed away when I was 28, shortly after I had completed my Linguistics degree. He went to his grave with high hopes for an academic career for his son. My mother outlived him by almost 40 years. She ended up spending a longer stretch as a widow (39 years) than as a wife (32 years) She never came to terms with her son’s chosen career as a musician. She may have been proud of me but she never praised me or acknowledged my achievements. She would never say anything positive about it to me directly - though I think she did brag to her friends. That’s how Jewish mothers are - what can you do? For illustration of this phenomenon you can’t do better than watch the Woody Allen documentary “Wild Man Blues” - free on YouTube.
At around 1:38:00 Woody’s mother says (after the camera shows three shiny Oscars on the mantle) “You did a lot of good things as a kid but you never pursued them” Later on his father opines Woody would have done more good for humanity as a pharmacist “than as an actor”. Some things never change…Jewish parents being one.
Still, you must follow your heart even if that means no M.D. after your name. Frank Zappa said it best:
“If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.”
Preach it, Frank!
Great piece. I don't think it's just Jewish mums, though. Mine was similar.
Haha, everything you wrote here is classic! I've not seen that Woody Allen documentary. Now I have to add it to my list!